10 great ways to show gratitude for your mom or a mother figure in your life

Whether she’s your mom, foster mom, aunt, grandma, teacher, wife or friend, we all have a mother figure to whom we owe a great debt. Here are a few ways to say “thanks” on Mother’s Day or any time of year, no matter your age!

  1. Make her breakfast, even better in bed!
  2. Arrange to volunteer together for a cause she cares about.
  3. Go outside and have a picnic lunch together that you packed up yourself.
  4. Plan an outing to a park, theatre or concert.
  5. Take a hike, or just a nice long walk if a true “hike” is too far away
  6. Bake her something from scratch – here’s how to send it to her if you live far away!
  7. Make her a scrapbook.
  8. Give her a shout out on your social media pages; tell your facebook friends why your mom is the best! You can even share it on our page, we’d love to hear!
  9. Play tourist in your own city and go see a sight – don’t forget to take a photo together!
  10. Make her a homemade card, or better yet, take some time to write her a letter.

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Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms and mother-figures, we wouldn’t be who we are today without your help, love and support!

www.nyfoundling.org 

Guest Blog: How do we prevent abuse and neglect? The Foundling is on it.

Dana's Video Blog

Click to view Dana’s Video Blog

Dana Guyet is the Vice President for Preventive Services at The Foundling. She’s been with us for two years. She has an undergraduate degree in Sociology from Rutgers University and received a Master’s in Social Work from the University of Michigan. 

 

I’ve always had an awareness of and concern for social justice issues. As a child I was raised to always look for ways to help others and to recognize and appreciate differences in people. My undergraduate studies in sociology reflect this interest and, more specifically, my interest in people in the context of their social environment. At 18, I participated in a mentor program that paired college students with special education children from the local elementary school. I was matched with an 8 year old boy and unlike many of my peers, I had a feeling that simply meeting him and helping with his homework once a week or taking him to lunch wasn’t enough. So, I dug deeper – I met his mother (who also had a keen interest, which I deeply respected, in who I was and the influence I would have on her son) and developed a relationship with his family. Over the years, we remained in contact and our families became friendly and helped each other out. I know this is perhaps an unusual route for a mentee/ mentor relationship to take, and it does not devalue the work that my peers or anyone else does, but it felt more real and substantial at the time. People often forget that giving, volunteering or charitable work in general is a two-way street. I gained so much inspiration, understanding, growth and knowledge from this boy that I was set up to “help” and I continue to lean on those experiences today. In fact, he contacted me again just recently, now as a grown man with a child of his own, just to check in on his “big sis.”

I believe that my relationship with him, my curiosity about how people function in their environment along with my desire to promote social justice, led me to the field of social work. After starting out in New York at the Salvation Army working as a case manager in the late 90s, I ventured to Detroit to get my Master’s in Social Work at the University of Michigan. Upon completing my MSW, I returned to New York, and spent some time working for ACS before joining The Foundling in April 2011. I’m currently the Vice President for Preventive Services here. Preventive Service programs exist to prevent child abuse and neglect before it happens, thereby keeping more children out of foster care placement. In many cases, we can prevent unintentional and intentional harm from coming to a child by providing support and much-needed services in a pro-active manner. Though we accept both referrals from the Administration for Children’s Services (ACS) and self-referrals, the majority of our clients come to us on a strong recommendation, or mandate, by ACS that they receive services to mitigate the possible risk of harm to their children.
The model we use in our child welfare prevention programs is called Functional Family Therapy for Child Welfare (FFT- CW) and it is different from many of the traditionally used methods for several reasons. FFT-CW is an evidenced-based model that works relationally, meaning with the whole family, rather than just the individual child or parent, to empower them to address the issues that present a risk and to create a functional family structure. The model is “evidenced-based” as many of our programs at The Foundling are which means that it has been tested in clinical trials and has proven efficacy. We support families by providing direct intervention and/or linking them to community services, such as mental health care, recreational outlets and other support services, to address any issues they may be facing that increase the risk of abuse or neglect. We work with around 650 families each year in our prevention programs.
FFT-CW is not only proven to achieve positive outcomes for children and families, but it is cost effective because it is a short term intervention of 3-6 months, compared to the traditional service model that might involve working with a family for 1-4 years. Because of this, we can touch more families, and help them develop the skills necessary to move away from being dependent on “the system” – which is the ultimate goal. Keeping children safe in their own homes with their families through preventive services like those we offer at The Foundling has the best long-term outcomes for all involved and costs far less to society than a child who is removed from the home and enters foster care. Sadly, however, the child welfare system exists for a reason and sometimes removing a child from the home is necessary even with the best treatment possible. We apply services on a case-by-case basis and are constantly evaluating the home situations of our clients while they are in our care.
One story a therapist from our Queens program recently shared with me- about a family who had been referred to us by ACS for services- illustrates the model’s effectiveness well. The mother was struggling with serious depression and as a result, their home was in atrocious physical condition when the social worker arrived to meet the family. A very important component of the FFT-CW therapy is to create a bond by engaging the family at the very beginning, in order to gain the trust of your clients. In keeping with this model, our social worker was careful not to respond to the filth with disgust or fear. Eventually she was able to approach the subject with the mother. When she removed a photo from the wall and cockroaches came pouring out as a result of an infestation the therapist stood with the mother without demonstrating any reaction. Later on, the mother expressed that this meant so much to her in that moment and helped her to gain the confidence she needed to address the situation because she knew she had support. Upon returning to the home several weeks into the treatment, our therapist found that the condition had greatly improved and that the family had made this change on their own and by working together. The FFT-CW model aims to instigate sustainable change within the family structure, and help them to function effectively, but on their own terms.
Another of our highly successful evidenced-based programs is Healthy Families -Staten Island (HFSI). This is a fully voluntary, early intervention, child abuse and neglect primary prevention program for families with infants and toddlers in Staten Island that is funded by the NYS Office of Children and Family Services. Pregnant parents or parents with infants up to 3 months old are referred to the program through health care providers, pharmacies, hospitals and other community outlets. To participate in the program either parent or child must live in our catchment area and must meet enrollment criteria. . Fortunately the criteria are very inclusive so it is rare that a family isn’t eligible. When this does occur we will refer them to another appropriate provider. The Healthy Families program has been shown to be highly effective at reducing the rates of child abuse and neglect among participants as compared to the general population. In our HFSI program we work with about 100 families.
Across The Foundling’s Preventive Services programs, we’re striving to meet families where they are, without judgment and to help guide them toward changes that they can apply to all facets of their lives in a positive way. Most importantly, I’m proud that we help protect children and young people from serious abuse and neglect and support families to make positive and sustainable changes.
For more information about The Foundling’s preventive services or HFSI, you can call us at 212-633-9300 or visit our website at www.nyfoundling.org

Guest Blog: “When I walk out of the school after class, it feels like a brand new day”

Tom Photo

Click here to listen to our young scholars play a short number and hear Tom discuss his experiences on camera!

Thank you  to our guest blogger, Tom Winnick, for this timely piece for Volunteer Appreciation Week 2013. Tom is one of The Foundling’s most dedicated volunteers – he will be awarded our “Volunteer of the Year” award April 25 at the annual Volunteer Appreciation Cocktail Party.  When he’s not teaching music, Tom is studying to get his doctorate in  forensic psychology.

Music has always been an important part of my life. My father was a great lover of jazz music, and he introduced me to it at a young age. My music practice didn’t begin until I was in middle school though. At the time, I was struggling through art classes, and my teacher suggested I try my hand at music instead. Heeding her advice, I enrolled in the brass band to learn the baritone horn. Unlike art, music came naturally to me. I understood music theory and how to read the notes I progressed quickly and continued my study through high school in the jazz and marching bands – my father encouraging me all along. I may have been one of the only 17 year olds around going to Miles Davis concerts, but I loved it.

While music never became my career (I’m currently studying to get my doctoral degree in forensic psychology), it always remained a hobby and a great love of mine. About two years ago, I was presented with an opportunity to share this love with others when a colleague introduced me to The New York Foundling. I was looking for ways to get involved with the community and give back, and some Foundling staff members told me about a wonderful place called Haven Academy—a Foundling sponsored charter school in the South Bronx that serves kids in the child welfare (foster care) system. It was suggested that I could teach music to these youngsters at Haven Academy. The feeling was these children would benefit greatly and that a brass instruments class would fit nicely into Haven’s bustling after school activities while supplementing their existing music program. I was sold.

I began to collect the instruments necessary for the class immediately. I’ve long been a trumpet collector, so I knew where to start. I found instruments on ebay and received donations from friends and contacts in the music industry. Then, a friend in Seattle heard about the project and offered to refurbish all of the instruments at cost. With a full ensemble, brass band lessons kicked off at Haven in the fall of 2011. I’m now there three afternoons a week.

I encourage my students to study music on their own as well as take instruments home to practice. For me, volunteering with and getting to know these kids has been a tremendous experience. I grew up in a middle class household in LA, spent time in the Army, and moved to New York, but nothing prepared me for the perspective of a kid from the South Bronx today. Some of the issues they go through are bigger than anything I’ve ever had to deal with, much less as a kid. Many of them are struggling with things that I never thought could touch a child’s life.

Music is our bridge, and I use music as a means to communicate with my students. They’ve taught me so much that often I feel our roles are reversed. I remember one girl who was dealing with things at home and struggling with emotional and behavioral issues. Many days she would come to my class and just cry to me. I realized that I wasn’t just a music teacher; I was an adult that these kids could trust and talk to.

My hope is that, at least for some of the kids, music is something that they can have for the rest of their lives. Music can be a way to express emotions and to hopefully help these kids cope with some of the issues they have to deal with.

Last summer I had the idea to get one of my best students into a prestigious camp called the Gramercy Brass Band Camp. He was accepted and they granted him a half scholarship. Between me and the school, we covered the rest and got him there. It was a great opportunity for him. For a month leading up to the camp, this young man came to my house to practice and catch up to the children who would be there with him, many of whom had been studying music years longer than he had.  He ended up having a wonderful time and this year, we’re working to send him back, along with one other student who has progressed quickly.

I once had a conversation with the father of one of my students and he was very eager to have her continue her studies. He felt that her practice of music keeps her away from other activities that aren’t good for her or playing video games and watching TV. The students also learn music history and the evolution of music, which is something that I’ve always worked to teach my own kids, like my father taught me. One of my students affectionately calls jazz, “grandpa music.” And in a way he’s right, much of today’s music follows the groundwork laid out by early jazz musicians.

Volunteering at Haven Academy and The New York Foundling, for me, is about making sure the things I’ve learned and the experiences I’ve had, can be passed on to our children, especially children that may not have these opportunities otherwise.

I don’t expect recognition for this, but I get back what I put in many times over.  I might be tired and burned out, but when I walk out of the school after class, it feels like a brand new day.

http://www.nyfoundling.org/get-involved/become-a-volunteer

Guest Blog: Empowering Young Victims to Overcome Abuse

Dr. Mel Schneiderman

Thanks to Dr. Mel Schneiderman for this contribution to our blog!

Dr. Schneiderman is the Senior Vice President for Mental Health at The Foundling. He attended City College of New York and has a doctorate in Clinical-School Psychology from Hofstra. Dr. Schneiderman has worked for the Foundling since 1977 and co-founded The Foundling’s Vincent J. Fontana Center for Child Protection. Prior to his work here, he was a school psychologist and worked in private practice.  

 Foster children are a vulnerable population.  Born into unstable and/or dangerous homes, they are often the victims of multiple forms of neglect and abuse – emotional, sexual and physical.

We estimate that up to 80% of the children served by The New York Foundling have significant mental health problems. From infancy through  age 21, when they ultimately age out of the foster care system, they suffer from a wide range of emotional and psychological problems including feelings of abandonment, separation anxiety, trauma/PTSD, depression, externalizing behavior problems, and in the most serious of instances, psychiatric problems that can require hospitalizations.

The consequences of these problems are far-reaching – foster children are generally two to four years below the normal grade level, and less than 25% of aging out foster care children attend two or four year colleges and most do not graduate from college. Homelessness, drug abuse and criminality are often problems they contend with as adults after they’ve aged out.

It’s unfathomable to imagine the pain, fright, sorrow and trauma that an innocent young child experiences at the hands of an abuser.  Overcoming this abuse seems insurmountable to most of us.

The Foundling provides comprehensive mental health services to all foster children in our care. Our therapists, social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists have developed and implemented holistic, evidence-based treatment plans that help entire families and address the special needs of this fragile population.

There are five important components to our therapeutic work with children. The first is to build a “therapeutic alliance” with the child in a safe, non-threatening environment. Only then can a therapist begin to develop trust with our patients.  Creating this trust is crucial because most child abuse victims suffer at the hands of someone they know and trust.

Victims of trauma are generally not able to talk about their abuse without re-experiencing the overwhelming pain associated with it.  A key rule at this second stage of treatment is to avoid first-person discussion of what happened.  Our therapists often use books or third person narratives to help the child talk about abuse in general– helping them to learn to eventually tolerate it from a safe psychological distance.

The third and fourth steps in therapy involve helping children to develop coping skills that will allow them to discuss their abuse experience without re-traumatization. Abused children often believe that they are to blame or develop other maladaptive thoughts. They see themselves as “damaged goods” and may be filled with guilt and shame. Correcting this maladaptive thinking and working through the issues is the fourth component of an effective therapy plan.

The fact is, child abusers victimize vulnerable kids. So, in this last stage of therapy, we try to teach children self-protective skills. Saying, “No!” or “I will tell on you” helps to restore a sense of power and control to the child and is critical to the healing process.

Parallel to the work we do with children, our mental health team also works to stabilize the foster home and help repair the attachment bond with birth parents by providing parents with important coping and parenting skills.

When The Foundling’s beloved Dr. Vincent J. Fontana died, almost eight years ago, I got a call out of the blue from a woman who I had treated decades ago when she was a teen.  She read about Dr. Fontana’s passing and felt compelled to call.

She said, “Dr. Mel, I am now 35 years old and I want you to know that you saved my life…You were the only person who understood me and was nice to me.” Sometimes therapists do not how much they have helped children to overcome their trauma and begin to heal from their abusive experiences.

I have a firm belief in the healing process and statements like the one from this young lady confirm that despite their almost indescribable hurt, children are resilient and with help from competent and trained clinicians, they can recover and become well-functioning members of society.

Judith Herman, a noted expert in trauma wrote, “To study psychological trauma is to come face to face with both human vulnerability in the natural world and with the capacity for evil in human nature.” Parents who abuse and neglect their children are not evil, yet the consequences of their behavior results in human suffering. Mental health services at the Foundling utilizing evidence-based intervention models have made a difference in the lives of children and families and reflects our hope, faith and commitment to the recovery and healing of child victims of abuse and neglect.

This is what has helped me come back to work here at The Foundling, day after day, for 35 years.

http://www.nyfoundling.org

Guest Blog: The Foundling welcomes the new Pope Francis

Sr. Carol

 

Thanks to our very own Sister Carol Barnes for this contribution to the blog!

 

 

We at The Foundling rejoice at the election of Pope Francis, the new pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church. We are particularly delighted that he comes from our hemisphere. He has a deep knowledge of the culture of Latino peoples who live not only in Latin America, but also in the United States and right here in New York. From what we already know about his leadership as Archbishop of Buenos Aires, we believe that what he did there and the way he did it are splendid examples of the service we currently offer at The Foundling.

The Sisters of Charity opened The Foundling in 1869 and welcomed abandoned babies and young children of all races, nationalities and religions. That tradition of non-discrimination continues through the decades and to this day. Our current programs serve children and families at risk of abuse and neglect, as well as those impacted by addiction, homelessness and domestic violence. We also care for youth involved in the juvenile justice system, as well as adults with developmental disabilities.

According to Rev. Thomas Rosico, an official spokesperson for the Vatican, “[The Cardinals] chose someone who has an extraordinary record for compassion to people not just within the Catholic Church…but those on the fringes, the poor, the destitute, the disenfranchised, those living in irregular relationships [sic], those who have suffered…” Truly the people the Archbishop cared for are replicated in the children, youth and families served by The Foundling today!

The compassion exhibited Pope Francis is core to all that we do at The Foundling. Together with the value of excellence these ideals are the essence of our programs and form the platform for a true ministry of the Catholic Church. We offer Pope Francis congratulations as he continues to advance his message of love and compassion.

 

The Year Ahead

As we settle into 2013, The New York Foundling is focusing on our goals for the year to come with an agenda that will help expand the reach, quality and breadth of the care we provide to people and families in need.

First, we have applied for an Article 28 License which, if granted, would allow The Foundling to operate as a community medical center. This is very exciting news for us and the communities we serve.  In addition to providing medical, dental and vision services to the children directly in our care, we would be able to expand and provide services to foster children in the care of other agencies, those who are in our own preventative programs but not in the child welfare system and even to the general population of the community.  We hope to be licensed this year.

Great things lie ahead for our Mott Haven Academy Charter School in the Bronx, as well. Having completed our first five years, we have applied for, and hope to see Haven Academy’s initial charter renewed by NYC’s Department of Education this year. The nation’s first and only charter school that serves students who are in foster care and preventative care, it is located in the poorest Congressional District in the country.  We recognized when the school opened just over five years ago that we would face challenges.  This was uncharted territory.  No one had ever designed a school and curriculum devoted almost exclusively to those in the child welfare system.  We’ve had some successes and hit some bumps along the way. But we’ve also learned from our experiences and the future is bright.  The staff at Haven Academy is dedicated to ensuring that our scholars excel and succeed.

One of our important programmatic goals this year is to fully implement the City’s new foster care model, Child Success NYC. This model establishes clear guidelines and goals that will help foster care agencies reach desired outcomes for children in the system.  The Foundling is committed to reaching these important goals and through supportive aftercare we are reuniting families faster; limiting re-entry into the system; reducing staff caseloads, step-ups and lateral moves by children in the system; and accelerating adoption for children who have been in care for more than two years.

Last, but not least, The Foundling will continue to share our expertise with our sister agencies through the Implementation Support Center. Opened in August 2012, The ISC is a training center where members of The Foundling staff teach other child welfare and juvenile justice programs how to use Evidence-Based Practice (EBP) programs.  With New York City and ACS requiring that its contract agencies use evidence based practices, The Foundling’s expertise is in demand.  We’re proud to play this important role in the system and will work alongside our sister agencies to ensure that we are all meeting the needs of the families and children we serve.

We are excited to face the new year and the challenges and successes it will bring.  http://www.nyfounding.org

**Watch Bill discuss the points covered in this post on camera! Our brand new video blogs will be available here with their corresponding posts, or directly on our youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/NYFoundling **

Announcing the Launch of The Foundling’s Video Blog!

Hello everyone,

I’m pleased to  share with you that we are now filming conversational discussions of selected blog posts. These will include posts from me, as well as “guest bloggers” – experts from The Foundling, professionals within our industry, volunteers and supporters.

We hope these video blogs will provide a useful and interesting new medium from which to gain knowledge, understanding and insights about the work we strive to do every day, and the issues facing the many children and families we serve.

We’ll be posting links to the video blogs here along with the written versions, but they can also be found directly on our youtube channel, www.youtube.com/user/NYFoundling.

Thank you for your support!

Bill Baccaglini

The Vital Role of Charity in Uncertain Times

As the new year began, a last minute deal in Washington meant that our nation’s immediate economic fears had been temporarily allayed. Congressional action prevented the country from going over the fiscal cliff. However, even after the House recently approved a three month extension to the debt ceiling – and Senate will likely follow suit – we are still plagued by fiscal uncertainty. How will the outcomes of these decisions affect The New York Foundling, the vulnerable New Yorkers we serve and the generous individuals who support us?

Given the recent devastation in New York from Hurricane Sandy and the inevitable drain this disaster will have on City and State budgets, what happens in Washington in the coming months will be increasingly important. As the nation’s fiscal woes continue there is a risk that The Foundling’s funding from City and State sources will be cut. This means fewer services for children and families in need. Growing tax and other burdens on small businesses could result in significant job loss and unemployment in the vulnerable communities we serve, indirectly increasing the demand for our services.

Also, our generous supporters will inevitably feel the pinch of additional taxes and rising costs.  While so many philanthropists give because they feel it is the right thing to do, if Washington eliminates the charitable tax deduction, the result could be devastating for The Foundling and other non-profit organizations.

The Foundling’s programs cannot be maintained solely on government funding. In order to properly care for the kids, teens, and families who have nowhere else to turn, we need to raise millions of dollars ourselves. The New York Foundling has made a solemn commitment to provide those we serve with the tools they need to lead independent and fulfilling lives. Without the help of government funding and public support, that promise becomes harder to keep.

We understand that your pockets are likely to be a little emptier these days.  But, consider the consequences:  If The Foundling’s coffers are emptied, the safety we provide to thousands of New Yorkers every year disappears.  What happens when we can no longer afford to provide medical services for the children in our care; when we have to turn infants away from our crisis nursery; or when young mothers have nowhere to turn to learn parenting skills?  For the thousands of kids and families we serve, there is no back-up plan – except, that is, for The Foundling.

The bottom line? Overall cuts to government spending, coupled with an unstable economy and uncertainty in Washington all mean that The Foundling has a bigger void to fill.

http://www.nyfoundling.org

YOU Can Help The Foundling Win a $15,000 Grant!

We need your votes! Just go to bioheatonline.com, then click to nominate The New York Foundling. The more nominations we get, the better chance we have to win this generous grant!

Bioheat is giving grants totaling $30,000 to charities like us who also help “warm” NYC with their programs and services. The Foundling is working to ensure that every child knows the warmth of a secure, loving family.

“Click for our cause” once each day from now through February 17 and pass this on to friends and family to do so also!

Each vote gets us closer to the $15,000. Thanks for helping us spread the warmth!

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Holiday Cheer Brings Hope and Normalcy to Our Children and Families

December is always an exciting time at The Foundling. Our kids and families get to experience the magic of the holidays and build memories that will last a lifetime. This holiday season, our supporters, staff and volunteers have, once again, helped us create events that are especially meaningful to our children, some of whom may be experiencing the joy of the season for the very first time in loving, stable homes.

P.J. Clarke’s, the legendary and historic restaurant/bar in the City, generously hosted a wreath decorating party complete with a breakfast and lunch buffet for thirty kids in our Mott Haven Leadership program. The children and their families transformed the wreaths, donated by Ariston Flowers, into colorful pieces of art. The wreaths are on display in the Sidecar at P.J. Clarke’s midtown location where visitors are enjoying them throughout the holiday season.

Wreath Decorating

Every year, volunteers from Macy’s decorate the lobby of our headquarters at 590 Avenue of the Americas and this year the décor is as grand as ever. Trees, wreaths and garlands adorn the walls bringing the holiday spirit into our Foundling home. The Macy’s team installed a mailbox for letters to Santa so that our kids have a direct line of communication with the big man from the North Pole. And the generosity doesn’t stop there. Macy’s also held a holiday party for our Crisis Nursery families. The party included a full dinner buffet, face painting and carolers.

Our friends at Ballet Ambassadors, Inc., a non-profit organization that gives under-served children and teens a one-of-a-kind opportunity to perform in the great ballets alongside professional dancers, hosted the annual Nutcracker Ballet event at our Haven Academy Charter School in the South Bronx. Professional dancers taught our students dance routines from the world-renown holiday ballet. After an entire morning of rehearsing, our kids performed the ballet in costume in front of an audience filled with school staff, families and peers. The event also garnered widespread media coverage with stories published in major publications including The Wall Street Journal, New York Daily News and The Epoch Times.

The Foundling’s Mother Child Program is one of our most important programs because it equips young mothers with the tools they need to become responsible parents. Many of these young women never learned what teenagers typically learn during their formative years and have never had the opportunity to experience the joyfulness of the holidays. This year, The Foundling’s Junior Board members have donated gift cards from stores like The Gap and Old Navy to all 28 mothers involved in the program. This contribution will give our young mothers the valuable sense that they were personally considered in someone’s holiday giving.

All of these contributions are important to our children and families not only for the momentary joy they bring, but because they help create normalcy in their lives during this festive time of year and foster hope for the future. Without these events, many of these kids would never have the opportunity to decorate a wreath, dance like a snowflake, listen to a live Christmas carol or even receive a holiday gift. The generosity of our Foundling community provides our children and families precious bonding time that strengthens their relationships – which is of course a primary goal behind everything we do.

Thank you all for your ongoing support, it truly makes this season a happier one for children and families all over New York.

Happy Holidays!A Visit From Santa

http://www.nyfoundling.org

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